Twelve.

There’s a cutout in one of our kitchen walls that looks into the family room. When I walked into the house for the first time, I thought that would be one of the first things I changed. It bothered me so much. I thought it was tacky and outdated. But, now that I’ve cooked here over and over, I realize that the view through that tacky and outdated cutout is one of my favorites.

As I chop, stir, sauté, and bake I get to look up and see our kids in the family room lost in joyful play. Without that cutout, I’d be looking at a blank wall. I’d be separated and missing the opportunity to watch the train track building, baby doll feeding, couch wrestling, and cushion jumping.

When our kids were little and napped at the same time, I would use that time to make dinner. But, when the napping stopped, dinner making became one of my most dreaded times of the day. It was stressful to be trying to follow a recipe while two stir crazy, unentertained, children bounced from making one mess to the next. I didn’t expect it to be any different here. But, somehow it has been.

Our kids play hard here. All day they are outside riding bikes, swinging, using tools, climbing, and exploring. Our days have a lot of movement and activity. We love it that way! It was one of our most significant reasons for moving onto this land.

What I didn’t expect to love equally as much out here is when the day is nearing it’s end and dinner has to be made. Instead of the overwhelmed, frustrated feelings I used to feel when dinner prep had to be done I feel content and happy as I get to watch some of the sweetest, silliest moments between our kids through my kitchen cutout. Something I was so passionate about disliking ended up giving me a glimpse of some of my most cherished memories. This little tacky and outdated cutout has made me wonder how many other times I’ve missed out on something beautiful because I am distracted and focused only on what bothers me? Instead of immediately wanting to change things I hope I can remember to pause and look for the beauty amongst the bothersome. Who knew a wall could make me contemplate things so much?!