Twenty-Six
Where do I even pick this back up? I’ve avoided writing here because the world around me seems to be getting more evil, hectic, divided, filled with lies, and downright scary. It’s felt safer to keep my heart guarded and my thoughts out of view for others to read. But, while the world around us has seemed to implode, our family has clung to each other while welcoming the sweetest little boy to our pack. Amongst the uncertainties around us, he is a reminder of goodness, innocence, and joy!
Brennon joined us on July 8th, his due date! His arrival was one of the most beautifully intense experiences I’ve had, and I will cherish those hours of hard work to get him here for all the days of my life. Before he was born, I struggled a lot with guilt that he would be entering such a disturbing time in history. My heart broke over what he was going to have to endure once he got here. Still, I deeply worry about it, but the moment they set him on my chest after he was born, his little life sparked a fierce fire within me to seek, speak, defend, and protect truth harder than I ever have before. I am heartbroken by the ugliness that my children will have to be surrounded by, but I will fight to preserve truth so that they have a chance at a free and safe future. I wasn’t built for backing down. And they won’t be either.
Again, God's sovereignty leaves me speechless. God always knew Brennon would be born during a global pandemic. He always knew he’d be born during severe political, racial, religious, and social conflict. We didn’t know those things, yet we chose a name that represents facing hard things and not backing down. And for this boy of ours, he will have to do just that! In these first 5 months of Brennon's life, his sweet spirit and content attitude have brought abundant joy into our lives. This little boy has stolen all of our hearts! To us, he will always be our little sheepdog- calm and sweet until the enemy comes along and he must fight. My prayer for all my children is that when that battle arises, they will be strong in the Lord armed with His truth and righteousness.
I’ve had a sign in our home since the day we were married, it reads- “Just think, you’re here not by chance, but by God's choosing. His hand formed you and made you the person you are. He compares you to no one else- you are one of a kind. You lack nothing His grace can’t give you. He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation.” And even though this isn’t the world I’d choose my children to be born into, God did. So, as hard as it is for my nervous mama heart, I have to trust that they will be okay.
